bear tales

Gonna Be a bear!

In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life I'd like to come back as a bear!

When you're a bear you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for
six months. I could deal with that! Before you hibernate you're supposed to
eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too!

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children {who are the size of walnuts}
while sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that!

If you're a momma bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that!

If you're a bear your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you'll have hairy legs and excess body fat.

YUP, GONNA BE A BEAR!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Protecting Yourself

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fishing and Gaming is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. The department has posted the following notice:

We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle any bears.
We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear feces has little bells in it and smells like pepper.